the Scout inside of me...

Some of my own childhood memories have faded like smoke into thin air, leaving me searching for something I no longer have.  It's sad, and unfortunate, but it' a part of life.  One that sticks, though, no matter what, is that of hanging around with boys at a young age.  Because of my half brother, I went, in a very natural way, against the unspoken rules a what a little girl is and should be.  But for me, that was just the way things were.  I loved it, wanted to be with them and one of them, wanted to prove that I had the kind of strength that could match theirs.

Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird reminds of this in a huge way.  She is outgoing, fearless (as a six year old girl can be), and willing to try nearly anything and everything.  She tags along Jem as not only a faithful companion and little sister, but as a heroic sidekick, a commander in chief.  The time she is growing up in is even more restricting on the behavior of young girls than ours, yet she holds a strong identity.  I commend her for that, look up to her as a leader among what one may call ruthless little girls.

Yet i have to wonder; what is it that makes her this way? For me it was my half brother, but I doubt that having Jem as her older brother is the sole cause of her actions.  When Scout fights, Jem has to be the one to pull her off the other boy, and to give her a lecture on discipline.

I think the majority of it is her strong belief in a person's rights, as well as justice in the world.  She gets this from her father, Atticus, a defending lawyer who firmly believes in having the truth come out and be the law, despite the social normals or requirements of the time.  This is why she fights, why she does what she wants to and why she always stands up for what she believes is right.  Why she runs with boys, climbs trees, is not afraid.

As much as I see myself in her, sometimes i think that I'm only trying to, because I admire her so much.

In reality, though, there's a lot more to her side of this than there is to mine.