BIG reading.

           with thirty pages left in to kill a mocking bird, the last, and most interesting thyme i want to talk about is age. scout, Jem and dill are all around ten years old, they are symbols of innocence and purity in this book. The scenes that scream out to me the most are the ones where the grown ups talk to scout about how young she is and how she will change when she grows up. What i find interesting about this is that the book is written from when scout is older, which means that by that time she has changed. -if the grown ups that told her she would are correct-  One specific scene that i found really interesting was the one where Jem and scout talk about the groups in Maycomb. this was a moment where two themes i was tracking came together. social class, and "age"/maturity. i felt that both scout and Jem were right. scout, younger and more accepting and Juvenile said that everyone was equal, and that no one class was better. Jem, said that there were classes and that the people in higher classes were supposed to treat the people below them differently because they would Hate the people below their class. i think this was a point where Jem and scout were getting to an idea where no one person is better, but in reality, people create classes because they want to keep people "in their place". 

the Scout inside of me...

Some of my own childhood memories have faded like smoke into thin air, leaving me searching for something I no longer have.  It's sad, and unfortunate, but it' a part of life.  One that sticks, though, no matter what, is that of hanging around with boys at a young age.  Because of my half brother, I went, in a very natural way, against the unspoken rules a what a little girl is and should be.  But for me, that was just the way things were.  I loved it, wanted to be with them and one of them, wanted to prove that I had the kind of strength that could match theirs.

Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird reminds of this in a huge way.  She is outgoing, fearless (as a six year old girl can be), and willing to try nearly anything and everything.  She tags along Jem as not only a faithful companion and little sister, but as a heroic sidekick, a commander in chief.  The time she is growing up in is even more restricting on the behavior of young girls than ours, yet she holds a strong identity.  I commend her for that, look up to her as a leader among what one may call ruthless little girls.

Yet i have to wonder; what is it that makes her this way? For me it was my half brother, but I doubt that having Jem as her older brother is the sole cause of her actions.  When Scout fights, Jem has to be the one to pull her off the other boy, and to give her a lecture on discipline.

I think the majority of it is her strong belief in a person's rights, as well as justice in the world.  She gets this from her father, Atticus, a defending lawyer who firmly believes in having the truth come out and be the law, despite the social normals or requirements of the time.  This is why she fights, why she does what she wants to and why she always stands up for what she believes is right.  Why she runs with boys, climbs trees, is not afraid.

As much as I see myself in her, sometimes i think that I'm only trying to, because I admire her so much.

In reality, though, there's a lot more to her side of this than there is to mine.

one flew over the cuckoos nest:
is on standby

bug:
slowly, but surely being read

the diary of Anne frank:
horribly behind schedule

to kill a mocking bird:
very rushed

Franny and zooey
i was half done a month ago..?

it's hard to keep track of the books I'm reading and where i am in them. it's especially hard when new books get added to your already messy book list. maybe i should have more to say about reading and books and all. but really, I've been all over the place reading a couple pages here, a chapter over there.... and maybe i should only be concentrated on like two books, but I'm not.

choosing one book...
I'm choosing bug because i read the play this week and i thought it was insane. just. really. screwed up intense and scary. i really loved it, the plot and, just really the whole story line is great and all. what i found that was pretty interesting though was how simple and so ordinarily straightforward the dialogue was for such a weird, intense play. it made a really normal environment and a really basic environment. it also struck me as interesting because it contradicted to what my drama teacher told me about writing plays. he forbid us from using words like there, here, something, maybe, thing and so on and so on. however, in this play, a good portion of the dialogue is practically devoted to such words.

compare, compare, compare.

                       Because i know my reading club which was specifically designed so we would have "professional arguments" with each other, (in other words we can't agree on anything and we never stop fighting (physicaly and verbaly) and we never get along and are all completely annoyed and mad at each other yelling a vast majority of the hour or two we spend attempting to discuss ethics and all that philosophical shinanagaz) i have took it upon myself to read the diary of Anne frank. yes. after a looooong look at the cover, i decided that i would invade this girl's life, go into her diary and read through it and "listen" to her talk about her inner most thoughts and predicaments. But i figured it's okay because it's like a best seller or something. but at the same time, i feel weird because it was sort of her diary. she meant it to be between her and her diary. But i mean,...yeah. So that's my plan. Well, actually not my whole plan, during my first couple of sentences into the book, i realized that Anne frank is about my age, and i wanted to read up to Anne Frank's fourteenth birthday by my birthday because my 13th memories are fresh in my mind and i thought it would be a good idea because i can compare and contrast our lives, see who she was as a 13 year old and take into consideration the time difference, the situations and all. -i just thought it would be cool. so then, on my next birthday i could read her life as a fourteen year old and compare it too mine. i can already assume that we will have some common ground because most teenagers have the same problems, the same thoughts the same worries. but Anne frank. she had to deal with the whole world war two thing. that's a LOT. so I'm just looking forward to relating to this girl and i feel like if i don't read it NOW,  my experience of reading it when I'm older will be a lot different. but I'm pretty exited to try this out. i feel like it's going to be pretty cool and all. we'll see how it turns out.

backwards reading.

                   I know some books aren't my level and that i will come across a book that might be a little too advanced for me to read. However; i don't like to think about that. i like to pick up a book and read and read and read. I'll interperate what i understand and maybe there will be a bit where i'm just like "what?" but i move on and make sence of it later. I never thought too much about how it would effect my reading when i would get lost in a book, hunting for my last page. (because my bookmarks always fall out) So i didn't think too much every time i would pick up my book and begin reading at a different page than i left off at. but now, it's getting to a point where i get what's going on in my book, but all the events are out of order and i feel like it effects the way i read this book i'm reading and how i think of the characters. because of this i believe i haven't build the relationship (with the characters) that i should have built by now. i also feel like every scene is just the same. i feel like nothing has really changed in the book withen these first -i dont know- hundred pages and nothing is really going on. What doesn't help, is that i think this book is just a little bit too advanced for my reading. like, i understand it fine, but not everything registers in my brain and part of the reason that i am not able to go straight back to the page i left off at is because when i'm trying to find that page, i end up rereading parts of the book. Because the book is a little advanced, i rereadad every part in a different way. It's not fair though because i kinda really like this book, and my parents saw the movie and said it was funny and i'm dying to see it but i know that the book is way better than the movie but i don't wana ruin the book for myself. It's all so confusing. . . i don't know how i will resolve this.

time to read.

This week i have been reading some very intriguing passages from one of my favorite sources of short passages, the New York State English Language Tests. they have all sorts of fascinating things to read. from saving the world and being a better person to inspiring poetry and memoirs. However, so far my all time favorite piece i have read from these series is a little story about a boy in a new school who's favorite hobby is to draw superheros at home and make stories with them. I liked this story particularly because i could totally relate to this character, who was so committed to his favorite hobby. i also thought it was so interesting because his hobby was so cool. My favorite part of this story was at the end when the stranger the main character runs into helps him and complements him on his drawings. i thought that was an especially good part because it shows how stereotypes don't apply to all people.

I think we have a blog post this week. So here goes nothing.

currently reading one flew over the cookoos nest. picking my book back up from where i left off, i'm getting a clearer view on a lot of aspects of this book. i'm getting a lot of ideas and theories. And another thing. I am currently doing possibly one of the worst thing a reader could do. i'm watching the movie, half way threw the book. (don't shoot me ms rear) My problem with reading this book on and off was that i kept forgetting detail like what the main character looked like, what the head nurse looked like, everything i was imagining kept changing until i was left with just some words and it wasn't what the author wanted me to imagine while reading so i felt really bad and i decided that i would watch the movie a bit and get a fair idea. So i'm watching this movie and right off the back i judge everything. how everything starts, who the main characters are. how each person is represented. I knew this would come. i knew i would be judging this movie because no movies are exactly like the book no matter how much we want them to be.
Anyways so i'm watching this and thinking back to project real today when i started thinking about the characters and everything. I was thinking about how this book is written in first person and it only gives this one persons point of view on things. And maybe not everything is like he describes it. For example, he describes all the "black boys" as mean, selfish and cruel. I imagined the asylum as a cell, a tourture zone where nothing was fair everything was dark and scary and death. but then i went to thinking, this is coming from the mouth of someone who has been there for a very long time, doesn't speak, and is in an insane asylum. so i kinda began to think about why this person makes infrences on the people he makes infrences on and all this other stuff. i thought the nurse was mean and her book was explicit i thought it was cruel and a form of violation. however, then i began to think about how i would defend the book. i thought it might be nice, and perhaps okay to discuss the feelings in these people and what they thought. what they're opinions where and seem like they care. unlike how the main character in the book describes it.
I'm noticing that as the 'new guy' spends more and more time with the people in the asylum, including the main character, it might become  harder for the main character to pretend to stay deaf because he is getting more attention. I wonder if he is going to keep it up for the rest of the book.

meh, didnt save other post, what did i do? i rewrote this first on my and post and i can't get my old post back!

                    So I've recently began a new book called Motherless Brooklyn. It makes me crack up in the middle of project real, but also rub my temples with aggravation. For those who read the book, Minna, the main characters (Lionel’s') boss didn't really make much of an impression on me. I did not feel any sympathy when Minna died; I do really like Lionel the main character though. He seems like a cool person and all. I feel like, as I get deeper into the book I will start to grow closer to him and become a little more attached. One very interesting thing that I especially loved about this book is that it takes place in Brooklyn. As Lionel describes his childhood, places in Brooklyn he sees, schools and people he knows, it becomes easier for me to relate to him. Parts of the story practically take place in my backyard. One thing I really like about this is that it gives me a different perspective on Brooklyn, this story seems to be more about gangs, violence, secret meetings, (I’m really not too sure yet) this is a part of Brooklyn I don't really know too much about so it's interesting for me to read about that. Another reason I like that this book takes place in Brooklyn is because I find it interesting to read about one-person memories in a place that I also share memories at. For example, when Lionel talks about the Brooklyn Bridge and that area, my mind just jumps to memories of hanging around the promenade and the people I know who live there. It makes me sort of nostalgic but I guess it also brings me closer to the book.

Rereads

             I've been rereading one of my favorite books Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I don't think I've ever really understood why it was called this, but hopefully rereading will help me figure that out.
Basically this book is about an autistic boy named Oscar (8 years old) whose father (who he was very, very close with) dies in 9/11. In this book, Oscar becomes a true friend and you laugh and cry at the awkward, interesting situations that he gets into. As the reader, you feel painfully uncomfortable in situations where Oscar seems unfazed, maybe a little curious but completely oblivious to how uncomfortable he makes people around him feel. Reading this the first time i didn't notice most of these situations because I became really comfortable with Oscars' voice and his personality. Reading this the first time, lots of little sentences went straight over my head. Reading this the second time i realize how important the little sentences were. they were like little tinny moments that only Oscar knows about because he wrights this in past enc where he knows everything that has already happened. for example Oscar says "I thought about that the second time when the renter and I were digging up his grave." I found this really interesting because this was said at the beginning of the book where the renter hasn't even been mentioned. I feel almost as if this book was meant to be reread. that now rereading it i feel so overwhelmed by how much the end is for shadowed. knowing the end gives a certain suspense to it. Kind of like dramatic irony, -which I know about- from Romeo and Juliet. Also, reading it the first time, i never knew what the last picture in the book was. I flipped to it a thousand times, but the last time i flipped to it, when i had finally finished the book, I'm not ashamed to say, I cried.


                  the first time I read this book, I really loved how close I felt with Oscar, but at the same time I saw how distant he was from everybody and how he doesn't exactly understand basic, normal things society latently just does. I felt that I could never feel close to Oscar because he didn't want to be close to anyone. (Except his father.) However; at the same time I wanted to melt in front of him and just cry with him. It felt so frustrating, and i think that this is exactly how his grandmother feels, and his mother but i don't think she as vigilant with him as his grandmother was.

Cuckoo

            For a while, I've really just been bouncing around between books. While beginning to read One Flew Over The Cuckoo's nest by Jack Nicholson, i got caught in his casual, sophisticated way of reading everything going on in the main characters head. i found it really interesting to read something threw a persons mind who doesn't talk. It kind of reminded me of the book speak. I love that book. So, well,  I don't exactly know too much about what is going on in the book (ie) where the characters are, who the characters are, what is their purpose. All i really know so far is that there  is the nurse, the bad scary machines that shave your face for you, a group of dark skinned boys, and the main character. (the man that doesn't talk) Of what I've read, i feel like this man is very educated and feels like he doesn't belong where he is. (some sort of mental institute on my guess... and i just feel like the imagery and sound are really just sort of burned into my mind with all the hate that goes on in the book so far. it's sort of a dark book and it's scary... I'm really exited to get further into this book. But I'm also caught between finishing Franny And Zooey and re-reading the extremely loud and incredibly close.